just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
