Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
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