Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
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I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
whose ass print is on the piano?
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
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Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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