I just made out with a guy for $7.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Randomize
