I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
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She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
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Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
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