I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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