Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
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