Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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