if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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