Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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