i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Randomize
