How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
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he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
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Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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