Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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