ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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