Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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