I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
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His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
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I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
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