Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."