my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.