remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
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