the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.