Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

Spring semester is just not the same w/o you

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(248): View more from Michigan

it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world

(1-248): View more from Michigan

i told you not to try chat roulette

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(961): View more from

I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit

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(262): View more from Wisconsin

I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(207): View more from Maine

Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.

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(831): View more from California

I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.

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(719): View more from Colorado

I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear

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(314): View more from Missouri

Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.

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(708): View more from Illinois

Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid

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