Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Randomize
