Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
