I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
