I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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