I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
look no pants
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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