Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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