Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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