So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
