I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
