Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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