I think my fart just growled at me.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
