We named our party play list daddy issues
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
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