Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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