first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
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