it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
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