I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Princesses don't give blow jobs
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
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