saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
