While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
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She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
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He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?