what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
