god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
