i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
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