I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
