I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
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