How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Randomize
