hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
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