We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
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