I want to walk on stilts...naked
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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