I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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