girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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