my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
He kissed a someone with a penis
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
