I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
