just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
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come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
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For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.