Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.