Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(757): View more from Virginia

I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.

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(757): I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home. http://tfl.nu/lnz2

Replies (23) Good night (1154) Bad night (5673)
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(217): View more from Illinois

Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights

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(217): Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights http://tfl.nu/27p8

Replies (21) Good night (3138) Bad night (2512)
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(315): View more from New York

I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.

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(315): I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen. http://tfl.nu/w329

Replies (4) Good night (2056) Bad night (1070)
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(847): View more from Illinois

He tried peeing out of the sunroof.

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(847): He tried peeing out of the sunroof. http://tfl.nu/ep38

Replies (5) Good night (1434) Bad night (3151)
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(423): View more from Tennessee

I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.

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(423): I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow. http://tfl.nu/5s6y

Replies (22) Good night (4481) Bad night (1175)
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(307): View more from Wyoming

Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done

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(307): Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done http://tfl.nu/wa0d

Replies (9) Good night (1044) Bad night (4339)
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(513): View more from Ohio

He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.

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(513): He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit. http://tfl.nu/4hrv

Replies (23) Good night (4423) Bad night (1027)
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(563): View more from Iowa

last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.

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(563): last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers. http://tfl.nu/6ciq

Replies (3) Good night (1410) Bad night (820)
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(479): View more from Arkansas

The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...

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(479): The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl... http://tfl.nu/uc2c

Replies (6) Good night (1978) Bad night (1039)
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(912): View more from Georgia

Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back

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(912): Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back http://tfl.nu/294t

Replies (7) Good night (2825) Bad night (865)
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(+61): View more from Australia

Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.

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(+61): Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere. http://tfl.nu/z8sw

Replies (5) Good night (723) Bad night (1257)
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(970): View more from Colorado

From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.

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(970): From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick. http://tfl.nu/h7vg

Replies (13) Good night (2683) Bad night (680)
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(925): View more from California

I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission

(925): View more from California

Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol

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(925): I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission (925): Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol http://tfl.nu/zmin

Replies (10) Good night (1925) Bad night (566)
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(423): View more from Tennessee

I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.

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(423): I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free. http://tfl.nu/3xxx

Replies (1) Good night (861) Bad night (275)
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(847): View more from Illinois

I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.

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(847): I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you. http://tfl.nu/oizv

Replies (0) Good night (688) Bad night (174)

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