come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
