We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
