If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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