Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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