haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
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