Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
