its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
