I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
