i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
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