I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
