Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
