Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
